When I was a little girl, my parents taught me how to "say my prayers." one of the things I would pray for was my husband. I would pray that he would be a Chistian, that he wouldn't smoke, and that he wouldn't drink. Those were things that were important to my parents, so they were important to me.
I am so thankful that God answered that prayer for me. I know that my husband isn't perfect, but he truly is my help mate. He always knows what I need and when I need it most. Throughout our journey with infertility, we had some rough patches because I was just so emotional, and I don't think he knew how to respond. He was trying to be supportive, but he didn't know what I needed and neither did I. He came to most of the doctor appointments with me and went along with all the silly things I asked him to do. And was very gracious about it, even though he didn't have to be.
I know that the decision to adopt is right. We are walking in this journey hand in hand. Chris has been so good to me, and I couldn't ask for more from him. I am so thankful, and even though so much of this wasn't what I chose, I wouldn't walk through it with anyone but my precious husband.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Funny how prayer works sometimes
As I was sitting here today, I was thinking about some of the things I prayed about during our infertility journey. I prayed that I would get pregnant without doctors, I prayed to know what God wanted us to do, I prayed for peace. Another thing I prayed while we were doing iui was ,"ok, God, I'll adopt if I can just get pregnant first." I think I knew then that we were supposed to adopt, but I was still holding on to my desires and not God's.
The day Chris and I started officially talking about adoption. I had a dream that night where I saw life going by really quickly as if it was being fast forwarded. I saw myself with an abnormally small baby. It was normal in my dream though. I heard a voice saying, "all it took was your willingness to adopt." Mydream was over at that point. I don't know if that means anything or if I was just feeling relieved, but I had such a sense of peace after that dream. I'm very grateful to have had that dream whether it was God speaking to me or not…
The day Chris and I started officially talking about adoption. I had a dream that night where I saw life going by really quickly as if it was being fast forwarded. I saw myself with an abnormally small baby. It was normal in my dream though. I heard a voice saying, "all it took was your willingness to adopt." Mydream was over at that point. I don't know if that means anything or if I was just feeling relieved, but I had such a sense of peace after that dream. I'm very grateful to have had that dream whether it was God speaking to me or not…
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Birthmother
God has laid it upon my heart today to pray for my child's birthmother. I don't have my child yet, but I know that God knows my child already. I pray for the birthmother because she is giving me the greatest earthly gift that I will ever receive. I can't imagine the sacrifice she is making, but I am so grateful for it.
I pray for her in the sacrifice she's making to make our family grow. I hope she knows how happy she's going to make us. I pray for her after she blesses us with her child, because I know that will be difficult. I pray that she knows how much we already love her and appreciate her because it's more than I can express in words. I pray that we will raise her child in the way that she would be pleased with.
There's still so much that I don't know about this process, but we are so excited knowing that God is providing our needs and desires through this wonderful gift of adoption. Thank you, God, for this truly wonderful opportunity. I didn't choose this in our lives, but I can already tell that it will bring more joy than I could ever hope for. Thank you, Lisa, for showing Ephesians 3 to me. It's definitely the verse for our lives. Thank you to my friends and family who are already so supportive of this journey.
I pray for her in the sacrifice she's making to make our family grow. I hope she knows how happy she's going to make us. I pray for her after she blesses us with her child, because I know that will be difficult. I pray that she knows how much we already love her and appreciate her because it's more than I can express in words. I pray that we will raise her child in the way that she would be pleased with.
There's still so much that I don't know about this process, but we are so excited knowing that God is providing our needs and desires through this wonderful gift of adoption. Thank you, God, for this truly wonderful opportunity. I didn't choose this in our lives, but I can already tell that it will bring more joy than I could ever hope for. Thank you, Lisa, for showing Ephesians 3 to me. It's definitely the verse for our lives. Thank you to my friends and family who are already so supportive of this journey.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Life Verse
I believe that prayer is a very powerful thing. God designed prayer to be a line of communication in our relationship with Him. He wants us to come to Him with our desires, and He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. However, He doesn't always give us what we want when we want it.
Chris and I have been trying to have a baby for a little over 3 years. I have seen countless women get pregnant, have babies, and then get pregnant again. Some even again. I have felt multiple emotions through all of this, but I have desired to be obedient to God. I have prayed that God would put my desires in line with His.
A few years ago, we went to the fertility clinic at St. Vincent's. I started going, but while I was praying, something didn't feel right. I just knew God was saying to me, "Wait." So, I did. I waited another year and went to a specialist in the area. Again, I could feel that God was telling me to wait. I wasn't happy with it, but I prayed for God to let me know when it was time. I continued to feel overwhelmed by all these emotions that were so new to me.
One day, I went to speak with a coworker that we all went to for spiritual advice - Lisa. I cried with her, and it was something I needed more than anything. The next day, there was a devotion in my box from Lisa. It was her devotion from the night before. It had Ephesians 3:20-21 as a verse in it. I decided to change my prayer to this verse. I wanted to wait for God and trust that he would give us more than we might ask or think. I prayed that we would get pregnant without help from doctors.
A few months later, I felt that God was telling us to go back to the doctor. Chris and I were in agreement that we both felt this. Three failed iui's later, we are still waiting. We have to wait until the end of July to see what the doctor says our next step is. I don't know what he will say, but Chris and I both have a feeling that the doctors aren't going to be able to help us. At least not in a way that we can afford.
Lots of people have helped me, and hurt me through this. I am 100% certain that the people who have said hurtful things had no idea how I was responding in my mind. I have learned that they are mostly trying to help, so I just endure this quietly. Sometimes!!! There are a few people who I relate to, and there are a few who are great listeners and wonderful prayer warriors. I have felt God's love through these people, and I know that God is in the forefront writing His story and using my life to do it. Chris and I have talked about lots of things over the years, and something has kept coming back up. ADOPTION. It's something we keep feeling a calling for. In August, Lord willing, we are starting the adoption process. We could not be more excited!!! We will be parents!! :) Hopefully one day very soon!
Chris and I have been trying to have a baby for a little over 3 years. I have seen countless women get pregnant, have babies, and then get pregnant again. Some even again. I have felt multiple emotions through all of this, but I have desired to be obedient to God. I have prayed that God would put my desires in line with His.
A few years ago, we went to the fertility clinic at St. Vincent's. I started going, but while I was praying, something didn't feel right. I just knew God was saying to me, "Wait." So, I did. I waited another year and went to a specialist in the area. Again, I could feel that God was telling me to wait. I wasn't happy with it, but I prayed for God to let me know when it was time. I continued to feel overwhelmed by all these emotions that were so new to me.
One day, I went to speak with a coworker that we all went to for spiritual advice - Lisa. I cried with her, and it was something I needed more than anything. The next day, there was a devotion in my box from Lisa. It was her devotion from the night before. It had Ephesians 3:20-21 as a verse in it. I decided to change my prayer to this verse. I wanted to wait for God and trust that he would give us more than we might ask or think. I prayed that we would get pregnant without help from doctors.
A few months later, I felt that God was telling us to go back to the doctor. Chris and I were in agreement that we both felt this. Three failed iui's later, we are still waiting. We have to wait until the end of July to see what the doctor says our next step is. I don't know what he will say, but Chris and I both have a feeling that the doctors aren't going to be able to help us. At least not in a way that we can afford.
Lots of people have helped me, and hurt me through this. I am 100% certain that the people who have said hurtful things had no idea how I was responding in my mind. I have learned that they are mostly trying to help, so I just endure this quietly. Sometimes!!! There are a few people who I relate to, and there are a few who are great listeners and wonderful prayer warriors. I have felt God's love through these people, and I know that God is in the forefront writing His story and using my life to do it. Chris and I have talked about lots of things over the years, and something has kept coming back up. ADOPTION. It's something we keep feeling a calling for. In August, Lord willing, we are starting the adoption process. We could not be more excited!!! We will be parents!! :) Hopefully one day very soon!
The beginning....
September 23, 1999
I was a senior in high school; Chris was a junior. He came to my church with a mutual friend of ours. He kept coming back to church to see me, and I was pretty impressed by that. We started writing notes back and forth to each other, and I knew this guy was different.
Many dates and conversations later, we realized that we had a lot of similar desires for our lives. Even though things around us weren't perfect, they seemed to be when we were together. We went to concerts, trips to Gatlinburg, and youth trips with church. We just got closer and closer.
Chris and I decided to take a trip to New York to visit his mom and stepdad. I had never been to New York, so we also made it a sight-seeing trip. On the plane ride there, Chris looked at me and said, "When we get back, we'll look at rings." I was really excited!!! I was going to get engaged soon, and I couldn't be happier! We did our sight-seeing to Battery Park, the Empire State Building, Wall Street, the Twin Towers, 5th Avenue, Central Park.....but then we returned back to where we were staying. Little did I know - Chris had the ring in his pocket the whole trip! He thought I had found the ring, so he just asked me. He wanted to do it in a special, more romantic place, but I was just as excited as if it had been at the top of the Empire State Building. The date was July 27, 2001.
Since we were both very young, we decided to wait a few years, and we set our wedding date for March 23, 2003. Now as I look back at my wedding pictures, there are a few details that I would change, but I would never change the person I married. I would marry him 100 times over. Even though our journey to here wasn't perfect, it was more than I could ever ask for.
I was a senior in high school; Chris was a junior. He came to my church with a mutual friend of ours. He kept coming back to church to see me, and I was pretty impressed by that. We started writing notes back and forth to each other, and I knew this guy was different.
Many dates and conversations later, we realized that we had a lot of similar desires for our lives. Even though things around us weren't perfect, they seemed to be when we were together. We went to concerts, trips to Gatlinburg, and youth trips with church. We just got closer and closer.
Chris and I decided to take a trip to New York to visit his mom and stepdad. I had never been to New York, so we also made it a sight-seeing trip. On the plane ride there, Chris looked at me and said, "When we get back, we'll look at rings." I was really excited!!! I was going to get engaged soon, and I couldn't be happier! We did our sight-seeing to Battery Park, the Empire State Building, Wall Street, the Twin Towers, 5th Avenue, Central Park.....but then we returned back to where we were staying. Little did I know - Chris had the ring in his pocket the whole trip! He thought I had found the ring, so he just asked me. He wanted to do it in a special, more romantic place, but I was just as excited as if it had been at the top of the Empire State Building. The date was July 27, 2001.
Since we were both very young, we decided to wait a few years, and we set our wedding date for March 23, 2003. Now as I look back at my wedding pictures, there are a few details that I would change, but I would never change the person I married. I would marry him 100 times over. Even though our journey to here wasn't perfect, it was more than I could ever ask for.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)