Adoption Yard Sale

Chris and I have finally set a date for our adoption fundraiser!  The date will be Saturday, October 29th.

We are asking for any donations of items you no longer need or want.  The costs for adoptions are high, so we are shamelessly asking for any help.  We are willing to meet you or come pick up items.  Every little thing helps, so please don't feel that your items are "junk.'' Message me on facebook or send me a text if you have any items. 

I can not say enough how grateful our family is for all the help offered on our journey!  I love all the words of encouragement and excitement.  Even if you aren't able to donate items, please pray for us.  Pray that we will have the strength to carry on throughout this process.  Pray that we have the stamina to make it through all this paperwork.  Currently, we are working on getting our background checks completed, and this may take a few months.  During that time, we will be doing our home studies.  (Our first meeing with our social worker is tomorrow!)  Pray that we will be able to find ways to save money or make extra money.  Pray that we can add to our family quickly!  Above all, pray for God's will to be done. 

We are very excited but also a little apprehensive about paying for our adoption.  Both of us completely believe that God will provide, but it is not always easy to feel what we believe.  I know that God is going to bless us in ways that we can't even imagine right now. 

This is an extremely emotional journey.  I am learning new things each and every day about my emotions and my beliefs.  I have learned so much about myself and my relationship to God and to my husband.  And the best part, is I know that there's so much more to come.  Thank you for being a part of that journey!

It's official!!!!

So our papers are officially in, and I could not be more excited!!! I can't wait to share all the wonderful, and not so wonderful, steps along our journey. God is so good!!! I am asking for prayers!!! First, I'm asking that you pray for us to have strength and patience, as this will not always be easy. I'm sure there are going to be times we'll need encouragement. Also, pray for our birthmother. It's crazy, but it's completely possible that she's already pregnant or will be very soon. Pray that she will feel a peace about choosing us to parent her child. Pray also for strength because I know this journey will not be easy for her. Pray that God will provide financially. We plan on doing some fundraisers and saving, but we are trusting in God to provide. There are so many things I'm leaving out for sure, but just pray for whatever you'd like. Pray that this happens quickly!!! :) I can't wait to share our journey. Please know that we do not feel anything but excitement about this whole journey. Chris and I love each other very much, and we can't wait to share that with our baby! Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

God's voice

It's not always easy knowing if you are doing the right thing. Sometimes, things start off feeling so right, but then you get confused or start thinking that what God wants just doesn't make sense. That's how I've felt lately. A great friend of mine helped me get back on track (thanks Liz). She helped me realize how important it is to talk about your feelings and she let me ramble on to her for probably about 2 whole hours!! And she still likes me!! Lol! :) Today, I talked to a wonderful woman of God who adopted 4 children about 40-50 years ago. I like talking to others who've adopted because it reminds me that I'm not alone. But something she said at the end of our conversation hit me!! She said that this past weekend, her whole family, all 32 of them, including children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, were at her home for the holiday weekend. She and her husband looked at each other and talked about how they have been blessed more than they could've ever hoped or asked for. That's when I felt like it hit me. If you've been following my blog, you know that that's our verse. The one that pretty much started this whole journey. I know that it was God confirming that what I'm doing is right. It has been so easy these last few months to get down. So many of my friends and family have a family and I want us to experience that too. I just have to trust in God's timing. And just to update - our papers are being turned in tomorrow!! I am still so thankful for all God has done, but I'm even more excited about what He's going to do!!!

Not about me....

This morning, I was reading the chronological Bible and it had me read 2 Samuel 7 and 1 Chronicles 17. This is where King David is looking at all that God has done for him and realizes he wants to do something for God. He talks to the prophet Nathan about building a home for the Ark of the Covenant. Nathan tells him to go ahead and do it, but later that night God gives Nathan a vision telling David not to build a home for the Ark. Instead of just saying no, God went on to say he would give David a dynasty and let one of his descendants build a temple. The passage goes on to say that even though David received a no about building the temple, he got together the supplies so that his son Solomon could build the temple. 

My whole point isn't to just tell this story. Initially, I looked up an explanation to this passage to find out if it was talking about Solomon or Jesus. There were so many details in the story that I found fascinating.  But a quote that I found blew me away.

There was a quote from a guy named F.B. Meyer.  It said, "If you cannot have what you hoped, do not sit down in despair and allow the energies of your life to run to waste; but arise, and gird yourself to help others to achieve.  If you may not build, you may gather materials for him that shall.  If you may not go down the mine, you can hold the ropes."  I felt like this quote was speaking to me directly!!!

I might not be pregnant, but I feel that God has given us the tools to raise a child.  I don't want to sit down in despair and let the energies of my life run to waste. 

Before we made our decision to adopt, I kept telling God that I wanted to be obedient.  I feel so certain that God has promised a child to us, and I am patiently waiting on Him to fulfill it in His perfect timing.  I don't feel anxious about what will happen because I know that this has come from God and that He will fulfill his promise to us.  I can't wait because I want to let God's glory show!  I want Him to use me to tell the story of His son and His great love for us. 

My husband

When I was a little girl, my parents taught me how to "say my prayers." one of the things I would pray for was my husband. I would pray that he would be a Chistian, that he wouldn't smoke, and that he wouldn't drink. Those were things that were important to my parents, so they were important to me.

I am so thankful that God answered that prayer for me. I know that my husband isn't perfect, but he truly is my help mate. He always knows what I need and when I need it most. Throughout our journey with infertility, we had some rough patches because I was just so emotional, and I don't think he knew how to respond. He was trying to be supportive, but he didn't know what I needed and neither did I. He came to most of the doctor appointments with me and went along with all the silly things I asked him to do. And was very gracious about it, even though he didn't have to be.

I know that the decision to adopt is right. We are walking in this journey hand in hand. Chris has been so good to me, and I couldn't ask for more from him. I am so thankful, and even though so much of this wasn't what I chose, I wouldn't walk through it with anyone but my precious husband.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.

Funny how prayer works sometimes

As I was sitting here today, I was thinking about some of the things I prayed about during our infertility journey. I prayed that I would get pregnant without doctors, I prayed to know what God wanted us to do, I prayed for peace. Another thing I prayed while we were doing iui was ,"ok, God, I'll adopt if I can just get pregnant first." I think I knew then that we were supposed to adopt, but I was still holding on to my desires and not God's.

The day Chris and I started officially talking about adoption. I had a dream that night where I saw life going by really quickly as if it was being fast forwarded. I saw myself with an abnormally small baby. It was normal in my dream though. I heard a voice saying, "all it took was your willingness to adopt." Mydream was over at that point. I don't know if that means anything or if I was just feeling relieved, but I had such a sense of peace after that dream. I'm very grateful to have had that dream whether it was God speaking to me or not…

Birthmother

God has laid it upon my heart today to pray for my child's birthmother. I don't have my child yet, but I know that God knows my child already. I pray for the birthmother because she is giving me the greatest earthly gift that I will ever receive. I can't imagine the sacrifice she is making, but I am so grateful for it.

I pray for her in the sacrifice she's making to make our family grow. I hope she knows how happy she's going to make us. I pray for her after she blesses us with her child, because I know that will be difficult. I pray that she knows how much we already love her and appreciate her because it's more than I can express in words. I pray that we will raise her child in the way that she would be pleased with.

There's still so much that I don't know about this process, but we are so excited knowing that God is providing our needs and desires through this wonderful gift of adoption. Thank you, God, for this truly wonderful opportunity. I didn't choose this in our lives, but I can already tell that it will bring more joy than I could ever hope for. Thank you, Lisa, for showing Ephesians 3 to me. It's definitely the verse for our lives. Thank you to my friends and family who are already so supportive of this journey.

Life Verse

I believe that prayer is a very powerful thing.  God designed prayer to be a line of communication in our relationship with Him.  He wants us to come to Him with our desires, and He wants to give us the desires of our hearts.  However, He doesn't always give us what we want when we want it. 

Chris and I have been trying to have a baby for a little over 3 years.  I have seen countless women get pregnant, have babies, and then get pregnant again.  Some even again.  I have felt multiple emotions through all of this, but I have desired to be obedient to God.  I have prayed that God would put my desires in line with His. 

A few years ago, we went to the fertility clinic at St. Vincent's.  I started going, but while I was praying, something didn't feel right.  I just knew God was saying to me, "Wait."  So, I did.  I waited another year and went to a specialist in the area.  Again, I could feel that God was telling me to wait.  I wasn't happy with it, but I prayed for God to let me know when it was time.  I continued to feel overwhelmed by all these emotions that were so new to me. 

One day, I went to speak with a coworker that we all went to for spiritual advice - Lisa.  I cried with her, and it was something I needed more than anything.  The next day, there was a devotion in my box from Lisa.  It was her devotion from the night before.  It had Ephesians 3:20-21 as a verse in it.  I decided to change my prayer to this verse.  I wanted to wait for God and trust that he would give us more than we might ask or think.  I prayed that we would get pregnant without help from doctors. 

A few months later, I felt that God was telling us to go back to the doctor.  Chris and I were in agreement that we both felt this.  Three failed iui's later, we are still waiting.  We have to wait until the end of July to see what the doctor says our next step is.  I don't know what he will say, but Chris and I both have a feeling that the doctors aren't going to be able to help us.  At least not in a way that we can afford. 

Lots of people have helped me, and hurt me through this.  I am 100% certain that the people who have said hurtful things had no idea how I was responding in my mind.  I have learned that they are mostly trying to help, so I just endure this quietly.  Sometimes!!!  There are a few people who I relate to, and there are a few who are great listeners and wonderful prayer warriors.  I have felt God's love through these people, and I know that God is in the forefront writing His story and using my life to do it.  Chris and I have talked about lots of things over the years, and something has kept coming back up.  ADOPTION.  It's something we keep feeling a calling for.  In August, Lord willing, we are starting the adoption process.  We could not be more excited!!!  We will be parents!! :)  Hopefully one day very soon!

The beginning....

September 23, 1999

I was a senior in high school; Chris was a junior.  He came to my church with a mutual friend of ours.  He kept coming back to church to see me, and I was pretty impressed by that.  We started writing notes back and forth to each other, and I knew this guy was different.   

Many dates and conversations later, we realized that we had a lot of similar desires for our lives.  Even though things around us weren't perfect, they seemed to be when we were together.  We went to concerts, trips to Gatlinburg, and youth trips with church.  We just got closer and closer. 

Chris and I decided to take a trip to New York to visit his mom and stepdad.  I had never been to New York, so we also made it a sight-seeing trip.  On the plane ride there, Chris looked at me and said, "When we get back, we'll look at rings."  I was really excited!!!  I was going to get engaged soon, and I couldn't be happier!  We did our sight-seeing to Battery Park, the Empire State Building, Wall Street, the Twin Towers, 5th Avenue, Central Park.....but then we returned back to where we were staying.  Little did I know - Chris had the ring in his pocket the whole trip!  He thought I had found the ring, so he just asked me.  He wanted to do it in a special, more romantic place, but I was just as excited as if it had been at the top of the Empire State Building.  The date was July 27, 2001.

Since we were both very young, we decided to wait a few years, and we set our wedding date for March 23, 2003.  Now as I look back at my wedding pictures, there are a few details that I would change, but I would never change the person I married.  I would marry him 100 times over.  Even though our journey to here wasn't perfect, it was more than I could ever ask for.